We ALL – at some point time in our lives, have to let a friend or client go – as painful as that might be. I don’t know anyone who relishes having to deal with this particular type of situation and for several reasons!
First of all, who wants to be the bad guy?
There are very few people (well, maybe some psychopathic folks) who don’t genuinely care about what others think about us.
Secondly, most people cringe at the thought of anything resembling a confrontation.
In fact, most folks are ready to run at the first sign of having to stand up to someone they believe is not going to agree with whatever they have to say.
Of course there are other reasons too, but these two are pretty much top of the list. So then how do we deal with those sticky-wicket situations?
Well first of all, we need to recognize that we are NOT serving ourselves or the other person by continuing a relationship that is not based in the highest good of both people. I believe it’s critical to understand that you are actually hurting the other person by not letting them go and that your selfishness – AKA fear of having to deal with the outcome of the conversation – is preventing you from taking healthy action.
By making this turn-around in your thinking, hopefully the realization that the short-term discomfort of conveying your message will be out-weighed by the long-term benefit of letting them go. That way they can find the perfect person that can serve them exactly the way they need to be served (whether that’s for a friend, a client, or your life partner).
The key is to carefully pre-construct what you have to say to make sure it clearly let’s that person know that you are suggesting something that is going to be highly beneficial for them and that you’re not just thinking of yourself.
For example, you might say to a friend who is too dramatic and negative: “I’m practicing not taking anything in my life personally anymore and working towards more inner peace. You mean a lot to me and I don’t want to impose what I want to create in my life on anyone I care for. I feel that at this point in time I’m not going to be able to be as good a friend to you as I’ve been in the past and think it would be best if I moved on from our circle of friends.”
Or for a client: “I feel that I’m unable to offer you the kind of support that you need at this time and I wouldn’t feel right having you pay me for services that I won’t be able to deliver to you in the future. I so appreciate your confidence in me and the work we’ve done together. I’ve gathered the names of a few people who might be able to assist in order to make the transition easier – and I would also be happy to forward any information that we’ve worked on together to the person who will be assisting you next.”
In actuality the business conversation is easier than the personal friend one because they’re more likely to have a comeback for you that could be a bit unpleasant. But that’s okay – they’re entitled to be pissed off and you’re entitled to find your happiness.
Of course these examples are not specific, but you get the idea! I’m curious as to how YOU handle these types of situations and if they make you feel like running. Post below and let me know.
To your success,