Dear Sheri,
My 15 yrs son came to visit for the holidays - and left yesterday. I had such a hard time letting him go - the emotions were so overwhelming! I don't like it because it hurts. Is it that I'm attached to him like parent and child and should I let it go? Any Suggestions??
Thanks! From a sad Mom!
Dear Mom,
I think it is normal to feel sad when your child leaves your home after a visit - don't you? Of course you are attached to your child. However, the issue is: how long are you in pain for? If it is beyond the day they leave - then that is a problem. First of all - the next day is this new moment - now! And now they are no longer present. If you are living in the now then you are not thinking about yesterday. If you are thinking about yesterday then of course you are going to bring that child into your mind again and then.... start telling yourself a sad story about how you are missing them. That is the second issue. What are you telling yourself when that child comes back in your mind? If each time they enter your mind you are telling a sad story about how they are not in your home, you miss them terribly, you don't get to be with them everyday .....blah, blah... you get the idea. That would make anyone sad!
Ultimately you are in charge of the way you choose to see your life. If you focus on the gratitude of the visit and what you do have - then you will not focus on what you do not have and keep yourself in a lack mentality and suffer.
Does this make sense?
Love, Sheri
Hi Sheri,
I've been thinking about your note. I knew that everything we think controls our emotions. That is why sometimes creating positive stories provides good emotions. Sometimes Its hard to say if its mind or real emotions itself. All I know that Love is real or positive emotions are real.
Dear Sad Mom,
This work is not about avoiding emotions that you do not like. It is about being aware in every moment of what is causing them and being able to make the choice of either seeing what is or seeing according to your story. If you see what is you will be at peace - if you tell a story you will have an emotional response.
If you miss your son that's one thing - if you are a victim of his leaving that is another.
It is hard to transcend your mind if you do not understand it. Again, I will say that emotions do not come of themselves. You must perceive something and judge it to be able to have an emotional reaction. That is why we say "emotional reaction" because it is a reaction to something. To be absolutely clear there are no good and bad emotions! Your judgment makes them good or bad based on the fact that you do not like the way you feel when you are having a fear-based emotional reaction. The key is to stop thinking fear-based thoughts. Love is simply love - it has nothing to do with what you feel is real or not real.
Love, Sheri
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