Hi Sheri,
I'm reading your book and have read Don Miguel Ruiz also. I was raised Catholic in an extremely fearful environment. I have recently gone through major life changes and deaths of loved ones. All this has me facing my own mortality and mistakes in my past. Most difficult is that years ago I had an abortion. It was very bad circumstances and I saw the abortion as my only option. The abortion occurred within the first 3 months and was a DNC. I thought I had forgiven myself but I'm losing sleep and my sanity over it and am struggling. The agreement "thou shalt not kill" is one that keeps going over in my head. I respect all living things and feel I am a good person. However, I can't seem to get past this. Can you offer any words of wisdom? Thank You
Dear Concerned,
All of us make many decisions that when we look back at them, cause us great regret and angst. However, no matter what we have done, we cannot change it now and so the only thing we can do is forgive ourselves for taking actions that we might not take right now with the level of consciousness and resources that we have today. Spirit/God gives us free will to be able to take action in life and grow and learn from those actions. As long as you see it for what it is and "repent" for your actions (so to speak as I am using Christian terms here), then that is all you can do. By repent, I mean that you understand that you actions caused suffering and you realize this and do not want to cause suffering again.
God in my experience is not judgmental, nor is God a punishing God. That is something we are taught to scare us. In my experience, God is unconditional love and absolute consciousness, and when we die we merge back into God and into that unconditional love. The rule - thou shalt not kill - is a rule to guide people who do not know better from harming others. When you finally have the experience of God you realize that God is everything and everywhere - and if you kill another you are killing yourself as there is only one entity and we are all part of that entity we call God. I believe that this is why Jesus specifically taught, do not judge lest others judge you, have compassion like your father, and forgive so that you can be forgiven. No one is going to smote you - except those mean thoughts in your own mind. You have paid for your actions many times in your own self-punishment. Forgive yourself and God/Spirit will forgive you too as you are one and the same. You did what you could at that time and the only thing that matters now is how you love others right now in your life and how you love and respect yourself. Surrender that burden and let it go. Forgive and love boldly. God will take good care of you angel.....always.
Love, Sheri
